Friday, August 31, 2012


stick it, lick it
give it a name
buy it a ticket
on the 509 train

what's wrong with you?
do you not have a brain?

derailed or impaled
it's still a great game.

insanity reigns

who the  hell needs a brain?

"A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted."

Helen Rowland (1976-1950)

I'm a dog's man, myself
cats scratch,
and cats think
they're god.

now that I've grown old
and have fallen
to the back of the line,
everyone in front of me
I scratch their backs,
and pay their fines.

since when as old age
become a crime?

no, I don't need to learn
another language
in ten days....
twenty days......
thirty days........
a month of days......
I'm fine
living here
in my language.
and if you feel the need
to talk to me,
learn my language.
if you can't live with that,
well, I guess that's that. 

i see you're getting fat.

Monday, August 27, 2012


give them a computer
they'll write a poem
give them a brain
they'll write a book

"Sanity is a madness put to good uses."

George Santayana (1863-1952)

if its not about money,
then, what is it about?
don't you think its about time
we, the people, find out?
lets throw them bums out!

what lies hidden
beneath the sink
should remain hidden
beneath the sink

don't you think?
do your feet stink?
is your butt pink?

Oh, come on! Give us a wink!


what started out as a sex game
finally turned into a hobby
where she slaps my halls.
i bit her tip.
we chase each other around
until one falls down
and the other one
falls on top.
that's how it's done.
not all that original,
but sure is fun

one pound of ground round, please
madam, please, get off your knees 

she knows
but she has no prove
so she cannot

its a sticky wick 

no sense of direction
in all well known directions
regardless of exceptions

was there ever
a friendly erection 
satisfaction by direction

will you have fries with that?
do you're realize
you're getting fat?

one cup 
of saturated fat
under every hat

so, how bad it that?

I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do.
When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods,
you will understand why I dismiss yours."

Sir Stephen Henry Roberts (1910-1971)

Wednesday, August 15, 2012


we know this mam
this old man
doctor appointments
always an hour early
sits there for an hour
drives his wife crazy
drives the doctors crazy
but, after all,
he's just an old man
after all,
he has nothing else to do
but sit and wait
for death take him over.

"Always do right- this will gratify some and astonish the rest."

Mark Twain(1835-1910)

"Copy from one, it's plagiarism; copy from two, it's research."

Wilson Mizner (1865-1933)

"It's not the size of the dog in the fight,
it's the size of the fight in the dog."

Mark Twain (1835-1910)


From fame to infamy is a beaten road.


The lust for power, for dominating others,
inflames the heart more than any other passion.


"No one can earn a million dollars honestly."

William Jennings Bryan (1860-1925)


Thursday, August 9, 2012


"Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater."

Gail Godwin

practicality of a bastard eating grass

damn, he's got a hot wife!
and she can cook!
she doesn't,
but she could
if she wanted too.

of course,
she doesn't need too,
 looking that hot.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012


two good guys
one bad guy
and a pig
that smiles sideways 
make up the choir
now singing
in our driveway 

isn't it crazy
how time slips away

quiet, the choir sings.

are those bells ringing?

if we were to love June
in July,
would June even care?
should we let August judge
this torrid affair?
and what of July?
is it even fair?
we already know
August doesn't care.
and July
will never have
its fair share.

there is no sound
only the quiver
of lost harmony 

"He who hesitates is a damned fool."

Mae West (1892-1980)

Friday, August 3, 2012


there comes a time
but not all the time
in all of our lives
when one needs 
to sit down
take off their shoes
take of their socks
and count their toes

one never knows.

this pounding
in my head
and those voices
maybe I'm dead
or something hiding 
under the bed
or something
the wife said

I'm just another dog
searching for a bone

how does one hang onto hope
when the dog won't phone home?

another stupid poem
but I'm not alone

I'm home and have a bone

"I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known."

Walt Disney (1901-1966)

those, so called
good old days,
where there was nothing
at all, good
about those good old

call me crazy.
call me whimsical.
don't call me
nothing, at all.

just let me fall,
and lie here
on this cold desolate
of good old days,

and I shall scream
murder plus
of the good old days,
burning memories

no longer affordable
those like I
of good old days,

so long ago,
so empty and gone.