Friday, March 28, 2014

THE DRUNK

I wasn't drunk, but
talking with a drunk,
the drunk was smart.
I mean, for a drunk,
real smart.

maybe, even, smarter than me,
but I wasn't drunk, so...
anyways, this drunk
taught me where to stand,
not to get hit
when birds poop,
and birds poop a lot.

but, as smart as this drunk was,
he, the drunk was a he,
knew nothing of women
taking a poop,
and where to stand
not to get hit
when women poop.

which answered, this old
nagging question,
why I was always covered
in women's poop.

now, I'm not saying women
shit excessively, but
when they do,
it always seems to be on me!

what you think, maybe counseling? 



everything we eat turns to shit.
and a lot of shit we don't eat.


that, i had planned for this space.....
well, some real crap.
much worse than normal;
even for me!
so, will bypass that,
that i had planned,
and just post another
one-of-a-kind photo.


she slapped me
'til my teeth fell out.
then, she kicked me
'till my nuts fell out.

then, she felt sorry for me
and put me to bed.
she's a darn good woman.
I'm lucky to have her,
or she have me,
whichever comes first.

cutting whichever way.
same difference in reverse.
back to beginning. 

sorry, was reading some Bukowski.
thoughts got away from me.
yes, my own fault. I know that!
let's not make a big issue out of it, okay?


imperfect square.
all squares are not perfect.
many flawed,
much like the one above.

only one good side, out of three.

could be considered sad, but
it's only a square.
one single imperfect square.
nothing special, except, of course,
for the square.

would it hurt us? us humans?
just to feel something,
anything
for this one-sided square? 


well, here we go again
with the colors.
so, wondering what's up with me
and colors, aren't you?
ya, me too!
I  don't know, really!
tried counseling.
that didn't go well!
got arrested!
something about anger management problem. 
she has me on a curfew. 
seems to be working.
still doesn't explain the colors, does it?
ya, well.......stay safe.


Poetry, like the moon, does not advertise anything.

William Blissett 












Thursday, March 20, 2014

YOU CALL YOUR LAWYER

You call your lawyer
I'll call my lawyer
we'll decide which lawyer
has the hottest wife
and we'll then decide
where to go from there
and which wife
we take with us
and who goes first

I've been wondering,
with all the crap i write,
it it wouldn't be prudent
for me to have
a safe house ready
just in case.......

okay, I'll admit it.
I'm just using you.
are you feeling used?
screwed?

this nagging question:
is there rehab for poets?


Then, she said:
let me rub it for you.
don't remember much after that,
but I woke up in jail.

so, suppose that says a lot
about what she was rubbing,
but not what or where.
but I do remember when.

and to think
she could have been a friend,
if not for all that rubbing
and time spent in jail.


we need separate beans
from wieners.
it's only fair each
should live their lives
independently of each other.

as a means to an end,
according to rules of engagement.
a starting point
for bean lovers
without hindrance from those
sucking up those wieners
that have no friends

no beginnings or ends
wieners 'til the end
beans and wieners
never meant
they should be friends
but so deliciously
independent
of each others desires. 


well, me again,
but don't get up.
we've been all through this,
and it's time for us
to stand up, be counted,
share our misery
with those less fortunate.

and to realize less
can and should be more.
well, as long as you're up
(I told you not too)
you might as well
get supper started
and prove to me
your love for me is true.


make love today,
and don't worry about tomorrow.
and, come tomorrow,
make love like you did today,
and don't think of tomorrow,

tomorrow becomes yesterday,
lost in today's love,
as romance drifts away,
suddenly frail and afraid,
may become tomorrow's
wasteland 


nuts fried in butter
and not just any butter
a specialized butter
just for frying nuts

butter created by women
bringing out the flavor
women so crave
eating nuts

screaming is an exercise in futility


I'm all about fiction
with just a hint
of truth and justice
and just a smidgen
of justice
soaked in syrup
and strawberry jam

I'm nothing at all
if not mostly honest
with my fingers
sticky with syrup
and strawberry jam
with just a pinch
of woman.
ain't life grand?


well, did u know
a failure to look serious
could lead to rash on your ass,
or pimples on you nibbles?

no, don't you laugh!
this is quite serious!
this isn't easy, you know!
either pimples or rash!













Wednesday, March 12, 2014

SAID I DID

said i liked it because i did.
should that make me
enemy number one?
enemy of state?
jurisprudence plus?
such philosophies,
bad for health?
and we're talking physical
as well as mental!

remember our lovers,
our loves.
and nothing else.
nothing else matters.
stuff that in bag
filled with philosophy
and atmospheric pressure.


here, this tear-stained page
burdens of sorrow, song
poet impatiently cries out
in vain, in vain!
cannot measure love
such a fool, then
most learn to slay
wild beast of despair!
save love, safe, safely!
listen!
sounds of joy!


consider this:
rhythm, rhyme, maturation
problem is ours
verification of
problem is simple
but not exceedingly so
but, lightning now
and rolling thunder

complicates our recovery
mathematics equations
point the way 
or is it all an illusion?
bad karma? 


clock on wall is five minutes fast.
to correct problem,
would need remove clock,
reset time,
rehang clock. 
too much work for this old fart!
what's a few minutes, anyway?
anyway, she'll fix it.
one of her duties.
that's why i married her,
to fix things. 
woman, obey your man!

okay, okay, just relax!
i'm only kidding, geez!!!



its the color, dang it!
the color!
if truth be told,
I'm telling it now,
its the color!
nothing more or less. 
color has story to tell.
song to be written. 
love to be shared. 





Wednesday, March 5, 2014

BEAUTIFUL DAY

its a beautiful day in the neighborhood!
sun is shining!
snow is melting!
temps are rising!
soft, warm southern breeze!
its all good!
all good!
feel like dancing, dancing!



Sunday, March 2, 2014

A BUFFALO

a buffalo comes to the door.
doesn't knock.
head-butts door open.
demands lunch.

when a buffalo demands
lunch
a buffalo gets lunch.

while buffalo eats
lunch
we escape out back door.
we get half mile
before buffalo catches up
with us,
says, thanks for lunch,
and keeps on going.

we return home.
clean up after buffalo.
take nap after our
strenuous event
with buffalo

tomorrow, we'll move
somewhere without 
buffalo


when I saw her, I said, yum!
don't know why.
it was just there,
on edge of my tongue.
yum!

so I just spit it out, yum!
then she turned around,
giving me a rear view,
and I said, yum, yum, yum!

tried rolling back my 
tongue
but tongue no longer
fit
where it belonged
yum, yum, tum!


and the flies came
and flies devoured
everything we love.

I know, I know!
it's those damn flies,
always searching for a meal.
and everything we loved
just happened to be next
on their list.

it was nothing personal.
it's what flies do when hungry,
they eat!


so, just getting screwed
without appearing
on you-tube!
that's all I ask!


when we get screwed,
and it doesn't workout,
should we blame vitamins?


I suggest we take out our marbles,
share with those less fortunate.
those having no marbles.
am I so far out of line here,
this should not be realized,
and verified worthy of trust?
asking too much?
taking marbles too far?

you know, i could drag this out
and then some
but i like you, so
won't do that to you. 

will work on loving you,
on the next post....

are you surprised?
well, i, for one, surely am.
don't ask me to explain.
can't do it!


and now, going up  town
gonna pull down the pants
first person i see
kiss their ass
get arrested
take a nap
in that order
wonder how much time i'll get?
and if  that person sues.